A little NON-PERISHABLE clarity

I just wanted to clarify something.

Some people have commented their distaste for my exuberance over the fact that Amazon.com now carries groceries. Yeah, you heard me – they now sell GROCERIES.

What some folks skipped over in my post was a little sentence I must not have italicized, bolded, underlined or flashed enough, so I wanted to clarify again that Amazon.com sells

NON.

PERISHABLE.

GROCERIES.

I am talking excitement over toilet paper, not ditching local produce, people. Costco-sized proportions of toilet paper, direct to my door. And that thrills me to the core. Oh, that I could have the opportunity to avoid nutballs ramming into my shins with their mammoth carts full of soda flats and 50 lb bags of potatoes in their effort to try the FREE SAMPLE of BEEF STEW IN BULK Betsy Jo is offering on Aisle 5 – instead, I can point, click and open my door to all my non-perishable toilet paper in all its non-perishable glory – that, folks, is the bliss I am talking about.

Just that the possibility is even out there.

I still love to go to my produce market and fondle the tomatoes, caress the lettuce, and knock around the melons. Who would want to miss out on all that fun? But tell me, really, do you honestly have to be there to squeeze the toilet paper, check the freshness of each roll, make sure you have hand picked the best bunch? Seriously.

I just wanted to clear the air…
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